The other day a woman from Middletown, Ohio dressed in a cow costume got drunk, chased some children, screamed at some people, and urinated on her neighbor’s front porch. She even showed up in court the next day still wearing the cow costume and asked people to squeeze her udders.
I don’t know if you missed it, but her little drunken escapade earned her two full days of national news coverage. After seeing her story on the local news, I saw it everywhere from CNN to FOX.
What a brilliant marketing ploy!
Every time I saw her picture, most becoming I might add, in her cow costume I wondered what it would’ve done for book sales if I could’ve talked her into holding up a poster for my latest book every time the cameras started rolling. You can’t buy that kind of coverage, folks. Two full days of being plastered across every major news venue! Wow. I might’ve even broken the elusive 1000 mark on Amazon.
That got me thinking about what kind of escapade I could come up with to earn me two full days of national media coverage. I don’t drink, I like my neighbors, and I have at least a modicum of self respect so I can't do what she did. I always heard of climbing up the Empire State Building naked to get attention, but I gotta wonder if anyone would even notice.
I’m not really thrilled about the whole getting arrested thing either. My county doesn’t have facilities for female prisoners so who knows where they’d send me. And orange isn’t my color.
I suppose I’ll go back to focusing on writing the best book possible. I’ll update my website this week and book a few more speaking engagements before the end of the year. Other than that, I’m drawing a blank.