What writers can learn from friendly turkeys and family reunions

Our neighbors have a pet turkey. Turkeys make better pets than you might think. This one is rather amusing to watch. He pecks around the yard, talking and garbling and intent on making friends with everything in sight. Unfortunately my dogs are not nearly as congenial with him as he is with them.

The other day while trying to enjoy a leisurely walk with the dogs, the turkey caught sight of us and ran out to greet us. While he saw potential friends, my dogs saw an early Thanksgiving dinner. As my husband and I tried to deter the turkey and keep my Lab from latching her jaws around his straggly turkey neck, my fingers became entangled in the retractable leash. If you’ve ever used a retractable leash, you know why they come with labels warning against getting your legs or fingers near the rope. The fingers of my left hand are seared top to bottom with rope burns that made writing nearly impossible all weekend.

The pain has subsided for the most part and I have mobility back in my digits. But Saturday and Sunday were a wash as far as accomplishing much with my writing. Losing a weekend writing and figuring out how to someday work a turkey encounter into a novel made me realize once again how inspiration can strike at the most unlikely times.

Sometimes a writer need go no farther than his front yard for ideas. Saturday before the turkey attack, we attended a family reunion. A niece talked with me about whether or not her boyfriend would propose and what she would say if he did. She loves the guy, and is pretty sure he’s the one, but what if she’s wrong. A husband and wife spent the whole time sniping at each other and drawing unwanted attention. I overheard a conversation about a cousin who disappeared about forty years ago. The family finally tracked her down in another state a decade or so back. She has children of her own and a life none of us know anything about. She emphatically stated she did not want contact from anyone in the family. Someone whispered about rumors of “incest” and knowing glances were passed around the table. The conversation quickly shifted to layoffs and unemployment and of family members who had died since the last reunion.

I’ve heard it said the best way to repair the sagging middle of a novel is to throw in a dead body. Since that scenario doesn’t work for every piece of fiction, you may want to pay attention to what the old folks talk about at the next reunion, wedding, or funeral. Or just walk your dogs around the neighborhood and see what kind of exotic pet captures their attention.

Skunked

I think I found the remedy for removing skunk spray from two inquisitive dogs. Night before last I let my dogs, Angel, a lab mix, and Molly, a border collie, terrier variety outside to prowl. Around five o'clock in the morning they were at the front door ready to come in. I smelled skunk as they raced past, but I figured a skunk had been killed on the highway or startled in a nearby field. For about five seconds. Molly headed straight to the back door. She reeked so I thought she was the one who had invaded a skunk's personal space. She's that type of dog, don't you know, so I always assume she's the ringleader when they find trouble.

I wrinkled my nose in distaste and went back to bed. It wasn't long though that a pungent gaseous smell woke me up. Molly wasn't the only one who had alarmed the skunk. In fact, Angel seemed to have taken a direct hit and was now funking up my living room. She joined her sister in the backyard but the damage had been done.

Thank the Lord for search engines. I found a recipe for a shampoo to get rid of the odor on the dogs. Open windows, candles, and pounds of carpet deodorizer made the living room inhabitable again. But just barely.

If this happens to you, don't be stupid like me and let the dogs inside. Then try this recipe. 1 quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide, 1/4 C baking soda, and a powerful shot of Dawn dishwashing liquid. Use immediately upon mixing as the oxygenation from the ingredients is what undoes nature's damage. Scrub the offending area for at least five minutes. Angel took a little extra scrubbing.

Thankfully they are both back in the house. I'm relieved since we are looking at a high of 28 degrees today here in Ohio and I hated to have them spend another night outdoors.

Now that the chore is taken care of and my headache has subsided, perhaps I'll get back on schedule with my work in progress. Every time I set a deadline, life throws a fly in the ointment. But that's the way this business works. If we try to wait until life is free of distractions to write, it will never happen. Write when you can and as much as you can, and try to keep your dogs away from skunks.