Friday, March 09, 2007

The perils of being your own boss

I have a big problem saying no to my flesh. I don't really want to get up early to exercise or post to my blog or get a head start on my word count in my current work in progress. The Lord has blessed me that I am able to stay home and write fulltime. On those cold mornings, I often look out my front window and see my neighbors pulling out of their driveways long before the sun is up. I lift my face toward heaven and say, "Thank you, God, that that's not me."
I'm sitting in front of the computer right now with sweats and bare feet and a wet head from the shower. I could stay like this all day if I chose--well, not the wet head part, my hair would eventually dry. But since I don't have a boss breathing down my neck or quotas to fill or the clock ticking in the background, I am able to, and do, waste a lot of time.
Working for one's self is not for everyone. Sometimes I know I'd be much more productive if I wasn't my own boss. But I'm working on that. It isn't only my work that suffers when I give into the flesh and watch television instead of fastening my rear to this office chair and not getting up until the work is done--or sleeping in or talking on the phone or whatever it is that keeps me from doing what I know needs done.
Everything in my life suffers when I don't put limits on my flesh. The Apostle Paul said, "Oh, wretched man that I am, my flesh knows what it's supposed to do, but instead does what is bad for me. I know to do good, but don't and my body suffers even though it's what my body wants."
You realize I'm paraphrasing big time here. But you get the picture.
We know what we need to do. We know if we eat that big piece of chocolate cake right before bed, we probably won't sleep well with all that caffeine coursing through our veins. And the next morning we'll awake feeling bloating and icky. But guess what, we'll do it all over again the next night.
We're not stupid. We know our bodies require a healthy diet and regular exercise. But again, we don't use our common sense and do what is good for us. Instead we buy books and attend seminars on weight management and time management and even anger management, and we still find ourselves repeating the same bad habits. I find that I waste a lot of time during the day if I don't make lists at the first of the week to remind myself of all the office stuff that needs done and the stuff that should get done unless I want to keep tapping away on this keyboard in abject obscurity. This week I did well with sticking to the list. I even did a few things I hadn't written down.
But more than lists and good intentions and even discipline, I need to turn every week over to the Lord. I need to determine that every minute of my day will be used to glorify Him. How exactly will I accomplish that with the TV on or my head on the pillow or by not taking care of my physical body so that I get sick and am no good to anyone? I'm not talking to anyone else. This is all for me. These are my weaknesses.
Lord, remind me that each day is a gift from you, not to be squandered or wasted, but to do a good work that will last. Let me a blessing to others as You have blessed me.

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